Why dentists (or anyone) should lie or be reticent

When your mate asks you, "Does my rear end look big when I wear this?"  Of course it is better to lie and deny an affirmative answer. Either that, or be reticent and avoid giving an answer.  The following is extracted from an editorial in a dental magazine many years ago:

LIES
My first (and current) wife says "You left the potato chips unsealed and now they are stale!"  I say, "Sweetheart (I never call her the hulk to her face), thank you for calling this to my attention.  From now on I will always keep the chips sealed, and we'll always have fresh chips!"  She knows I am lying but laughs because I have said what she wanted to her.  Besides, there may be a kernel of truth in my statement.

In dental practice, a postoperative patient may say, "Exactly how long will this hurt?"  The answer could be "Six hours and eight minutes."  The patient knows that you cannot give an absolute answer to the question.  But if something is said in the right tone of voice, with some explanation, sympathy, and a measure of good humor, the patient appreciates the answer and at least has a general idea of the degree and length of discomfort expected.  Besides, there could be a kernel of truth in the statement.

RETICENCE
There may be another way to reduce stress, minimize broken appointments, and improve practice efficiency that has not been addressed in the literature or by consultants --- Reticence!  Some questions from patients are better left unanswered.
Consider this example:  Elwood P. Snerdly drives to the office for his first appointment.  He knows that it is a one-hour drive but only allows only 30 minutes for travel time.  To save face, when he arrives his first comment is "Why are the numbers on your office entrance so small?  It took 30 minutes driving around to find this place."  (They really are large, but the blinking red floodlight out front is broken, and the beam of light coming from the top of the building, like an airport beacon, does not show up well during daylight hours.)  The solution --- use reticence.  Don't answer the question about small numbers!  An example of the suggested response in our office is: "We were worried about you!  We are glad you made it safely and have been looking forward to helping you solve your dental health problems."

It is the contention of the caregiver ("provider" in insurance speak) that patients/clients/customer are much less likely to break appointments when a relationship has been well established.  Appointment pre-mailings and telephone calls may ameliorate broken appointment problems.  Office "rules" may possibly result in some sense of satisfaction for the staff, but are unlikely to have great positive effect.  But keeping track of patients' needs desires, and interests, and discussing those subjects with the patient may have a much more positive effect.  After all, "It's about me" (the patient).  Is the patient a dog lover:  Proud of his children and/or grandchildren?  A pilot?  A fisherman?  It is clear that patients who are convinced of our interest in preventing and solving their dental problems, and convinced of our interest in them as persons will be much more likely to avoid cancellations and broken appointments and to maintain long term relationships with us.  Surely this is a better approach to preventing cancelled and broken appointments.

In addition to the other techniques and philosophies which we use to provide the best and most efficient care for our patients, we could also consider using "Lies and Reticence."


Given our current social and political climate couldn't this be a rational approach to personal interactions?